Mai in Wonderland - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Tweedle-Para & Tweedle-Dox’s Tale

Mai was sitting in the bottle as it was drifting in the ocean of her tears like a boat, and she sighed humbly. All the shrinking and the growing that she went through, along with the Doorknob’s less-than-humorous jokes, were much too embarrassing for her to recall, as they had been the most difficult setbacks she had encountered while trying to get past the locked door. But now that her tears and the bottle of the multi-flavored drink had helped her solve the problem, she wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

The darkness had instantly shifted into a cloudy purple sky and an ocean of deep indigo, and Mai got a glance of it while she was still stuck in the bottle. Just then, she heard a singing voice coming not too far behind her and turned to see a half-human, half-dodo riding on an upside-down Sonic Duck with a Parrot Dragon pushing him and flapping its wings for acceleration. The ivory-feathered, yellow-and-red-beaked dodo, who had the face and hair of Professor Hawkins, was wearing a navy blue waistcoat, an orchid-colored vest, and a black hat that was placed on the top of his head.

Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me
How I love to sail o'er the bounding sea
And I never, never, ever do a thing about the weather
For the weather never ever does a thing for me!

Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me
Tiddle-ee-um pom pom
Deedle dum dum dee...
And I never ev

The dodo suddenly stopped singing and placed a hand above his eyes, as he had spotted land ahead of him and his two birds.

“Ahoy!” he exclaimed in delight. “Another nautical expression! Land ho, by jove!”

“Where away, Dodo?” the Parrot Dragon replied, saluting to him.

“Dodo?” Mai repeated, tilting her head slightly and raising an eyebrow.

“Three points to starboard. Pull away, me hearties! Have you in port in no time!”

Mai placed her hands on the opening of the bottle and pulled herself up to see the dodo departing with his birds on the open sea.

“Mr. Dodo,” she called out to him. “Please! Please help me!”

Unfortunately, the dodo was still singing his song, making him completely unavailable for her much-needed assistance. Mai then turned to see a Manga Ryu-Ran, a Toon Dark Magician Girl, and a Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon riding on a log across the ocean.

“Umm… pardon me, but would you mind helping me?” Mai called out to them, but they weren’t able to listen to her either.

“Please?”

A pair of Toon Gemini Elves, a Dark Rabbit, an Injection Fairy Lily, and a Waterdragon Fairy swimming in a single file line was also unable to catch Mai’s desperate calls for them.

“Help me!” she cried, still peeking out of the bottle. “Please!”

A powerful wave picked the bottle up and it had flipped Mai upside down, yet the bottle returned to its right-side up position. It was now about three-fourths full of ocean water, which caused the bottle to submerge beneath the water.

“Help me!” Mai said, yet she noticed that she could talk underwater. She then swam up to the opening of the bottle and took a peek to see the duel monsters and the half-human half dodo on shore.

The monsters were running around a stone the dodo was standing on n a circle formed out of their own footprints, singing a jolly tune with him.

Forward, backward, inward, outward
Come and join the chase!
Nothing could be drier than a jolly monsters-race
Backward, forward, outward, inward
Bottom to the top,
Never a beginning, there can never be a stop

Once the monsters and the dodo sang their line, a huge wave crashed on the shore and engulfed the monsters. The dodo was still standing on the rock with a small fire next to him, before the water headed up to the top of the rock. In a panic, the dodo picked up the fire and sang his lines:

To skipping, hopping, tripping, clopping
With a merry hooray,
I started it tomorrow, but I’ll finish yesterday.

Once the tide went out, the dodo placed the fire back down on the stone and all the monsters were still running in place.

Round and round and round we go until forevermore,
Once we were behind
But now we find we are be-

Mai had finally managed to climb out of the bottle, only to lose her balance and fall into another wave that sent her to the shore. She then got up on her hands and knees, only to be stomped on the head by the Toon Dark Magician Girl, four Scapegoats, and the Parrot Dragon. She lifted her head up once again, but the Manga Ryu-Ran, Injection Fairy Lily, and the Toon Gemini Elves sent it back down in the sandy terrain.

Forward, backward, inward, outward,
Come and join the chase!
Nothing could be drier than a jolly monsters-race


“I’d say! You’d never get dry that way!” the dodo chirped to Mai.

“Get dry?” Mai repeated, once she lifted her head back up.

“You have to run with the others! It’s the first rule of the monsters race, you know,” the dodo added.

“But how could I…?” Mai started to ask when she stood completely up, only to be pushed by an incoming tide. Even though she was under the wave, Mai started running in place with the other monsters, to the dodo’s delight.

“That’s better!” he chirped in an enthusiastic tone of voice. “Have you dry in no time now!”

“No one can ever get dry this way,” Mai said as she kept running, with the Sonic Duck behind her.

“Nonsense!” the dodo replied, standing by the warm fire. “I’m as dry as a bone already!”

“Yes, but—“ Mai started to say, only to be knocked down by another wave that came in.

“Alright, chaps! Let’s head down! Look lively!” the Dodo commanded, as the tide went back out into the sea. Mai was now on the Sonic Duck’s head, having an embarrassed look on her face. Just then, she spotted the White Rabbit, who had endured a wild ride on his black umbrella across the ocean.

“The White Rabbit!” she exclaimed. “Mr. Rabbit! M-Mr. Rabbit!”

“Oh, my Ra!” the White Rabbit exclaimed when he looked at his pocket watch. “I’m late! I’m late!”

“Oh, no! Please don’t go!” Mai cried as she saw the Rabbit scurrying away and putting his umbrella away. “I’ll be right back!”

“I’m late! I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!”

More of the Dodo’s instructions to the running monsters were heard as the Rabbit shook the water off of himself and frantically hopped into the forest near the beach. Mai dashed off after him, as she had managed to get off the Sonic Duck.

* * *

By the time the rabbit disappeared behind a tree, Mai made her way into the center of the woods, calling out his name twice. However, the White Rabbit was gone again. There was still no luck for the young lady to catch the rabbit.

“I’m sure he did go this way…,” she said, looking around with her fists on her hips. “He could be hiding around here somewhere.”

Little did she know that there were two bald twins peeking from behind the bushes, and they were wearing long-sleeved áo dài in the colors red and blue with two slits on each side, white pants, and black oriental slippers. On their heads, there were two black caps with different kanji on them. One had the red kanji that read “palace”, while the other had the blue kanji that read “illusion”.

“Where could he possibly be hiding?” Mai wondered, as she looked behind a tree. The two men moved between the bushes and the tree, yet they were hidden within a shadow. As Mai turned toward an open log, the twins moved next to the tree and they stood right behind her.

“Not here…,” Mai said, before kneeling down to the log’s level. “I wonder…”

As she crawled into the log, the twins looked at each other and skipped on top of the log in unison, before stopping in front of the other side of the log. Once Mai came out from the log, she stood still for a moment and brushed her apron with her hands.

“I suppose he—“ she started to say, before she jolted and gasped in shock when she turned and glanced at the two men.

“Why… what peculiar oriental figures.”

Just then, she spotted two collars with their names embroidered in white and read them one at a time: “Tweedle-Para… and Tweedle-Dox.”

Mai placed a finger on the red clothed man’s nose and a low honking sound came out of his mouth, surprising her.

“If you think we’re made of wax, you ought to pay to see us, you know,” Tweedle-Dox said, and he jabbed his twin brother with his left elbow. As a result, a high honking noise emitted from Tweedle-Para’s mouth.

“If you think we’ve come to life, you ought to say something to us,” Tweedle-Para added, before jabbing his twin with his right elbow. The same low honk came out of Tweedle-Dox’s mouth, and Tweedle-Dox bounced into Tweedle-Para, the same high honk emitting from him. The twins then hopped on the log and made the same honking noises by jabbing one another with their average-sized feet, slender hips, muscularly-developed torsos, and their backs before landing on the grassy terrain.

“That’s logic!” the twins said in unison, holding their left index fingers up.

“Well,” Mai said with a short chuckle as she gave them a short curtsey. “It’s been nice meeting you boys. Goodbye.”

Just as she started walking away, however, the twins darted and stood right in her way.

“Ahh, you’re beginning backwards,” Tweedle-Dox said to her.

“The first thing to say actually is…,” Tweedle-Para added, before the twins broke out in song again and took Mai’s hands. They spun her around in a circle, like a game of ring around the rosie, before they shook her hands rapidly and released her, causing her to fall on the ground.

How do you do and shake hands
Shake hands, shake hands
How do you do and shake hands
State your name and business!

“That’s manners!” the twins said to her, holding up their opposite index fingers in front of her.

The two front bangs were covering Mai’s face, so Mai flipped them out of the way to give herself a better view.

“Really?” Mai asked them, and she then stood up on her feet. “My name is Mai, and I’m following a White Rabbit, so—“

As she turned to leave, the twins suddenly appeared in front of her again, stopping her in her tracks.

“Oh, no. You can’t leave yet,” Tweedle-Dox said to her, waving his hands in front of her.

“No, the visit has just begun,” Tweedle-Para added.

“I’m very sorry, but—,” Mai said as she continued walking, with the twins still in her way.

“Would you like to play hide and seek?” Tweedle-Para asked, as multiple clones of the twins popped up from the trees and a single bush. The clones disappeared and the twins then fused themselves into one body, yet their legs and arms were still with each of the two siblings.

“Button! Button! Who’s got the button?” Tweedle-Dox said.

“No thank you,” Mai replied to them politely, only to see the twins in front of her again in fighting stances.

“If you stay a little, Miss Mai, we’ll have a battle,” Tweedle-Para said, and the twins began performing martial-arts style kicks and chops.

“That’s very nice of you, but I must get going,” Mai said as she gently pushed them out of the way. The twins then jolted in front of her and stood next to two trees that served as an archway in the woods.

“Why?” they asked her in unison.

“Because I’m following a white rabbit,” Mai answered them, only to be blocked by them again.

“Why?” the twins asked her once more.

“Well, I-I’m curious to know where he has to go,” Mai replied to them, before finally starting to leave again.

“Ohhh, she’s curious,” Tweedle-Para said in a whispered, as he and his brother had inquisitive expressions on their faces.

“The oysters were curious, too, weren’t they?” Tweedle-Dox whispered to him, causing Mai to stop and turn around to listen to what the twins were saying.

“Ay… and you remember what happened to them.”

The twins huddled with one another and started crying, before Mai came walking straight back to them.

“Poor things…,” they said in sad voices, their hats off their heads and in their hands to showcase their grief.

“What? What did happen to the oysters?” Mai asked them. Tweedle-Para and Tweedle-Dox whirled their hats on their fingers as they began marching towards the log.

“Oh, you wouldn’t be interested in hearing about it,” Tweedle-Dox said to her.

“But I am,” Mai replied to them, as she followed them and got in front of them.

“Ohhh, no. You’re in too much of a hurry,” said Tweedle-Para.

Mai was still in front of them as she was walking in reverse towards the log, and said: “Perhaps I would spare a little time hearing it.”

“You would?” the twins said, smiles of delight forming on their faces. “Well!”

With that said, the boys placed Mai on the log before making back-flips and landed in front of the bushes and trees.

“The Walrus and the Carpenter!” Tweedle-Dox said, jabbing his twin brother with his elbow. The high-pitched honk was emitted from Tweedle-Para once again, before it was Tweedle-Para’s turn to speak up.

“Or, the story of the curious oysters!” Tweedle-Para added, before jabbing his red clothed brother with his elbow and making him let out the low-pitched honk. The brothers then began to dance, making the honking noises again in the process. Tweedle-Dox was the first to sing:

The sun was shining on the sea
Shining with all his might

Tweedle-Para was the next to sing before his face morphed into the sun:

He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright

Once Tweedle-Dox’s face had changed into the moon, he sung out the next line:

And this was odd because it was

Now both of the boys sung out why the scene involving the sun was quite odd in their story:

The middle of the night

The twin’s faces then faded away, revealing a beach and the times of day and night that were split in half. Two figures emerged from behind a stone on the night side of the beach as they were walking side by side into the day side. An old walrus with the hair and face of Solomon Muto was wearing a torn black top hat, a grey-colored waist coat, a white-collared shirt and yellow vest adorned with a simple green bow tie, a pair of navy blue trousers, ivory gloves, and black dress shoes as he was twirling a long black cane in his right hand. A young, teal-haired carpenter twirling a hammer in his left hand was wearing a turquoise short-sleeved shirt, a white apron and sailor’s cap, a pair of dark grey pants, and brown shoes. Of course, the Carpenter did look exactly like Mokuba and Seto’s stepbrother Noah Kaiba due to his short teal-colored hairstyle.

The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand
The beach was wide from side to side,
But much too full of sand

As the two were walking, the Carpenter’s left foot sank into the sand and he yanked it out, only to discover that his shoe was full of sand. He then pulled out his shoe and hammered the sole, before a huge pile of sand, shells and starfish came out of it.

“Mr. Walrus!” the Carpenter said, as Tweedle-Para had just said. “My brain begins to perk! We’ll sweep this clear in half a year, if you don’t mind the work!”

“Work!?” the Walrus exclaimed in shock, nearly dropping his cane on the sand. He cleared his throat and lifted a finger up in the air, as he held his cane in his right hand.

“The time has come to talk of other things,” he said, as described by Tweedle-Para. “Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.”

The Walrus then skipped around the Carpenter and swiped his hammer, much to the carpenter’s befuddlement.

“Calloo-Callay, no work today! We’re cabbages and kings!”

With the Carpenter’s hammer, the walrus pulled the Carpenter out of the sand, sending him toward a rock near the ocean. The Carpenter’s head splashed into the water as his hammer landed right next to him, and he opened his eyes to see a Toon Mermaid and her sleeping baby oysters with a hungry expression on his face. That frightened the aquatic monster and her little ones, causing them to hide in their large green and small violet shells altogether. Once he dipped his head out, the Carpenter whistled loud enough to grab the Walrus’s attention and pointed to the ocean. He even licked his lips hungrily as he rubbed his slender stomach. It had indicated that he had found food for them.

The Walrus, also licking his lips in hunger, frantically ran across the sand before stopping to see the Carpenter trying to get in the water with his hammer on hand. He yanked the young lad by the neck with his cane and placed him back on the stone, giving him a bonk on the head with it and wagging his finger back and forth. Then, the Walrus walked into the ocean as he twirled his cane and stopped in front of the shells. The baby oysters took a quick peek, before closing up their shells again. The Walrus’s cane tapped two times each of the first two oyster shells, and the Walrus lifted his hat up to show respect to the Toon Mermaid and her precious oysters.

“Ohh, uhh, Oysters,” he said to them, “come and walk with us. The day is warm and bright. A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk would be a sheer delight.”

The Walrus’s offer of a walk on the sunny beach made the baby oysters open up their shells again and had happy smiles on their faces. Just then, the Carpenter submerged his head back into the water and added: “Yes, should we get hungry on the way. We'll stop and, uh, have a bite.”

That irked the Walrus and made him hit the Carpenter on the head many times with his cane, even though the two were underwater. He didn’t want their grand plan to backfire on them all because of the Carpenter’s foolish mistake.

The Toon Mermaid winked an eye and shook her head sadly as she glanced at a calendar hanging right next to her. It had the month of March with the thirty-one days shown to the Walrus and the ditzy Carpenter. She knew that this was no time for her to abandon her beautiful green shell and her lovable oysters from the deep blue sea they had called home, as Tweedle-Dox had narrated to Mai.

“The sea is nice. Take my advice, and stay right here,” she said to her little ones, as Tweedle-Para had added to the narration of their story.

The Walrus was unamused by what the Toon Mermaid had just answered, and he rose up from a stone he had sat on a moment ago.

“Yes, yes, of course, of course,” he said, “but, uhh… ha ha!”

The Walrus shut the Toon Mermaid’s green shell with his cane, thus not taking her advice. He was now ready to lure the baby oysters out of the ocean… with a pleasant song, of course.

The time has come, my little friends
To talk of other things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings, ha ha

A pinch on the cheek from the Walrus made one little oyster blush and giggle, with the other smiling at it.

Calloo-Callay
Come, run away
With cabbages and kings!

After the Walrus sang these three lines, he held his cane like a flute and started playing it. The little oysters heard the whistling tune and joyously followed him in a single file line, as they had hopped out of their beds. The song had also lured some fish in the ocean, though they chose to stay there afterward.

While the Walrus had returned to shore with the little oysters still in line, the Carpenter was gathering ship debris that had been abandoned on the sandy shores and considered using them to build a seafood restaurant for them. The little oysters were skipping merrily on the sand as they were still close behind the Walrus, who was still using the cane as a flute to keep them close to him. The Carpenter built the seafood restaurant out of the ship debris at a very rapid speed, just in time to let himself, the Walrus, and the little oysters inside. A slate-colored sign in the shape of a fish had the words “fish dinners” written in purple as it was hanging above the door.

Once everyone was inside the restaurant, the Walrus tied a light blue handkerchief around his neck as he and the little oysters were sitting at a picnic table that had a white-and-red-striped tablecloth on it.

“Well now, uhhh… let me see,” he said, just as the Carpenter took a seat and held up a knife and fork with a hungry expression on his face. The Walrus had something else in mind for the Carpenter, so he said to him: “Ah, a loaf of bread is what we chiefly need!”

Giving him a wink of approval, the Carpenter dashed out of the table and into the back room, which was a kitchen for him to make the food. The Walrus had a greedy smile on his face as he held two of the baby oysters in his right hand, only to see the Carpenter open the two doors and say: “Listen, how ‘bout some pepper and salt and vinegar, eh?”

“Well, yes, yes, splendid idea!” the Walrus said to him with a hearty laugh, after he frantically placed the oysters down and picked up a menu. “Very good indeed.”

Once the Carpenter went back into the kitchen, the Walrus placed the menu back on the table and said to the oysters: “Now, if you’re ready, Oysters dear. We can begin the feed.”

“Feed??!” the oysters repeated in a worried unison.

“Ohhh, yes,” the Walrus said, picking up the oysters and holding them close to him. “The time has come, my little friends, to talk of food and things.”

Meanwhile, the Carpenter was whipping up a special sauce for the Walrus to dip the oysters in and slicing a whole loaf of bread with a saw, as he sang a short little tune:

Of peppercorns and mustard seeds
And other seasonings!
We'll mix 'em all together
In a sauce that's fit for kings
Calloo-Callay
We'll eat today
Like cabbages and kings!

With a bottle of vinegar on his head and holding a tray the bread and sauce with his right hand, the Carpenter whistled as he merrily approached the table and placed the tray onto it.

“I… I weep for you…,” the Walrus said, as he was weeping and wiping the tears away with his blue handkerchief. “I—hic!—Ohh, excuse me. I deeply sympathize, for I’ve enjoyed your company, oh, much more than you realize.”

Little did the Carpenter notice that the Walrus was full, as he had eaten more than a bite while he was gone.

“Little Oysters? Little Oysters?” the Carpenter said, holding up the knife and fork he had earlier with a hungry look on his face. He, too, had a blue handkerchief tied around his neck as he was sitting at the table with an empty place in front of him.

Unfortunately, there was no answer. This was quite odd for the young carpenter, as he crawled onto the table and peeked from behind the menu. His eyes suddenly widened in shock, his jaw dropped down, and his hat popped off of his head in reaction to the discovery: every one of the oysters had been eaten by the Walrus, as told by Tweedle-Para and Tweedle-Dox!

The Walrus was sweating apprehensively as he slowly tiptoed and grabbed his cane, letting out a short nervous laugh. However, the Carpenter’s face was turning red as he was glaring at the Walrus with his hammer out, as he wanted to seek revenge on him for eating all of the oysters before he had the chance to try at least one.

“The time has come!” the Walrus exclaimed, as he darted through the door at a rapid pace. The furious Carpenter chased right behind him, swinging his hammer in an attempt to hit the Walrus as the two were running down the sandy beach. Once the two men had disappeared into the night, the sun and the moon reappeared with the faces of Tweedle-Para and Tweedle-Dox and they sang the very last line:

With cabbages and kings!

The twins landed on the grassy terrain with their honking noises once the story was over, and they stood up with their index fingers pointing upward.

“The end!” they said in unison with big smiles on their faces.

Mai, who had been sitting on the log the whole time she was listening to the story, had a smile of content on her face in response to their melancholic yet wonderful tale. “That was a very sad story…,” she said to them, “but it was a good one from you, though.”

“And there’s a moral to it,” said Tweedle-Para.

Mai nodded her head in agreement and replied to him: “Oh, yes, there’s a very good moral indeed. If you happen to be an oyster or an aquatic duel monster like the Toon Mermaid, that is.”

She then rose up from the log, as she knew that she was supposed to be finding the White Rabbit and discover what he was late for: a duel monsters tournament or a party.

“Well, it’s been a nice time I had with you two…,” she said, only to be placed back down on the log by the twins.

“There’s another recitation we wish to share with you!” Tweedle-Dox said to Mai.

“I’m sorry, but—“ Mai started to say, only to be interrupted by Tweedle-Para, who mentioned the title of their next story to her: “It’s entitled Old Father William!”

“No, really, I—“

“First verse!” Tweedle-Dox chirped merrily, interrupting Mai again. As he started to sing, Tweedle-Para took a cane and started to act like an elderly old man, his body quivering and walking slowly like a turtle.

"You are old, Father William," the young man said
"And your hair has become very white
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right, is right?
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

As the twins continued singing their song (and performing headstands in the process), Mai got onto the other side of the log and rose up from there before leaving them behind in the lush green forest. Now she was finally on her way to find the White Rabbit, as she had been delayed for quite a while by Tweedle-Para and Tweedle-Dox’s zany dances and their story she had just listened to.

My number one priority is catching the White Rabbit and knowing what he is so tardy for, she thought to herself as she kept walking through the woods. Nothing can stop me from succeeding in my quest, no matter what happens in this weird world I’m in. That includes the bizarre moments of growing and shrinking I have went through before.